Forever's Gonna Start Tonight
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: Spoilers through "The Lunar Excitation." After Sheldon talks to Penny, she realizes that she can't be afraid anymore. Leonard's not sure what to think.


**In case anyone missed my summary on the main page, THIS HAS SPOILERS! Finale spoilers, to be exact. So do not read this a.) if you haven't seen/read the taping report for the finale or b.) if you don't want to be spoiled.**

**DISCLAIMER: The characters and background and setting and all that jazz belongs to CBS. The song is by John Denver. The title is from "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler.**

_Knock knock knock _"Penny?"

_Knock knock knock _"Penny?"

_Knock knock knock _"Penny?"

She opened the door. "Hey, Sheldon."

"We need to talk."

His urgent tone surprised her. "Okay. What's up?"

"Can we do it in private?" Sheldon glanced across the hall, then turned back and said in a stage whisper, "_it's about Leonard._"

"Sheldon," Penny said, closing her eyes. "I really don't want to talk about him."

"Sometimes we have to do what we don't want to do," Sheldon said. "For the sake of our friendship, and, more importantly, my sanity, I need to speak with you about Leonard."

Penny rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Fine. Come in."

"Why thank you," Sheldon said politely. He came inside and Penny closed the door. "So, how are you?"

Penny looked at him suspiciously. "Fine."

"I'm glad, and I must say, the weather has been just wonderful recently."

"You may dispense with the pleasantries, Sheldon. And yes, I did just quote _Star Wars_."

"Okay." Sheldon sat in the green chair. "As you know, I have very strong opinions. I take a position on every issue that is presented to me, and if I can't choose, then guilt overrides my sneakiness and I tell those involved that I cannot take sides, such as wanting to remain friends with both you and Leonard after your inconvenient breakup."

"Okay…" Penny sank down on the couch. "Sheldon, I don't get your point."

"Of course you don't get it; I haven't made it yet."

"Oh for crying out loud, Sheldon, what the hell's the point?"

"My point is, you need to make a decision as to what you want your relationship with Leonard to be. You can't sit on the fence, and want to be friends one minute, then want to have coi…inter…eh…_intimate relations_ with him the next. Leonard is of the mindset that when a woman he has feelings for wants to have said relations with him, it means that said woman wants to be in an intimate long term relationship with him again. He's not the smartest man in the world -you're looking at him-and Leonard can't be expected to read your mind and know if you want to be with him or if you're just looking for a night's upgrade to Senior Rodeo, and unless I am terribly mistaken, you also can't expect him to be _okay_ with that." Sheldon paused for a breath. "I have to live with him, Penny, and it's not pleasant in the slightest for me to do so when he is undergoing severe emotional depression." Sheldon stood up. "And correct me if I'm wrong, Penny, but I believe that I am getting better at understanding social situations, and I do not think it's fair to play with Leonard's heart in this way. Either cave to the emotion of love or restrain yourself next time you're drunk and upset." He walked to the door. "Have a nice afternoon."

* * *

Penny knew what time he'd be home. She knew his work schedule as well as anything else about him. Their lives had once been about each other, being with each other, and caring for each other. She knew Sheldon was right. She was staying away from him because she'd let Wil Wheaton into her head, and though she had been trying to do the right thing for him, going back and sleeping with him made her selfish. _That_ was her mistake, acting selfish and running back to him because she'd felt like it, and then expecting him to forget it happened. Telling him that the night was a mistake was true, but because of how she'd acted…in reality, choosing to date him was one of the few things that she'd done in her life that _wasn't_ a bad move. She knew that she needed to stop fighting it. She needed to stop trying to convince herself that she could never say those words again.

She stood by the door, listening as she toyed with her phone, and when she heard him coming up the stairs she cracked open the door and peered out. It was him, wearing his adorable turquoise hoodie and fiddling with the key.

She opened the door wider. "Hey, Leonard."

He looked over at her. "Hi, Penny."

She looked down at her feet, and then back up. "Can I talk to you?"

He hesitated, looking back toward his apartment door. Penny bit her lip, looking anxiously at him as she stood in the threshold. _He didn't want to talk to her_. Penny couldn't blame him. She'd tortured him as much as she'd tortured herself these past weeks, and now she must be a living symbol of pain to him. Looking back at her, Leonard sighed. "Sure. Sure, we can talk." His voice was quiet, nearly a whisper. It was his sad voice, the voice that told Penny that he was expecting more hurt, like a wounded animal creeping closer to the hand holding the food, unsure.

"Great." She smiled nervously, feeling awkward doing so but glad, at the same time, that he agreed to speak to her. "Come on in." She backed into her apartment. Leonard followed her, easing the door shut behind him. He made sure it shut soundly, and then turned to look at her.

"Hey," he said. His voice was guarded. He had lost all the confidence he used to have around her. She had shattered their connection, and now she had to repair it. She _had_ to, or she'd lose him…and she just couldn't lose him.

Sheldon had been right. She _was_ scared. Leonard was such a good guy…it seemed almost too good to be true. She had originally thought his words had come too soon, but after her talking with Sheldon she realized that it wasn't the timing of the words, but the words themselves. Her memories of what had happened the last time were holding her back, not allowing her to go for it again. She had to get over it, and she had to get over it now.

"Leonard," she started. Lord, she had no idea how to go about this.

_You fill up my senses  
like a night in the forest,  
like the mountains in springtime,  
like a walk in the rain,  
like a storm in the desert,  
like a sleepy blue ocean.  
You fill up my senses,  
come fill me again._

She closed the apartment door and stood awkwardly, wringing her hands again. "You know that I overreact, and sometimes I overreact, and…" gosh, she was botching this. Leonard just looked confused. The hurt wasn't gone. He looked at her curiously. She forged on, knowing that this conversation could make things worse. "I've been horrible to you. I know that. But I don't want to not be with you. I'll go crazy. I am going crazy. I've tried dating other people, and I just can't. I want to be with you."

Leonard sighed, dropping his eyes. "Penny…"

She pressed her lips together. They were shaking. "You can't, can you?"

He looked down. "Penny…the last time you came to me you told me it was a mistake. You used me. Now you say you want to be with me? Do you want to _be_ with me or _get_ with me, Penny? Which is it? I don't want to be another mistake."

Penny was afraid of this. She was afraid that she'd done to Leonard what Kurt and Mike had done to her and made him think that commitments always wound up meaning nothing…that you were always going to get hurt. She stepped toward him, putting her hands flat on his chest, like she had when he'd kissed her before their first real date. "I promise you this is different...This isn't a mistake. This is _you_ and _me_." She looked into his eyes, needing him to understand. "I love you, Leonard."

_Come let me love you,  
let me give my life to you.  
Let me drown in your laughter,  
let me die in your arms.  
Let me lay down beside you,  
let me always be with you.  
Come let me love you,  
come love me again._

He didn't react immediately, giving her a brief moment fearing that she really had destroyed them. He cocked his head ever so slightly. "Really?"

She nodded, feeling herself tearing up, ever so slightly. "Come here, " Leonard said gently. His tense, unsure expression melted away and he pulled her close. She dug her head into his shoulder, one of her hands curling his hair around her fingers and the other digging into his back. He held her against him, his hands tenderly curled around her back and waist. "Penny," he whispered again, letting one hand slide up to her neck.

"I'm sorry Leonard…"

"Shhh…" he said, rocking her gently. "It's okay. Don't cry." His body had relaxed in the minute since she'd come into his arms, and Penny shuddered in pure relief. His arms felt so good around her, and the gentle back and forth motion of his body was so soothing.

She pulled back and stroked his hair and neck tenderly, looking into his eyes. The hurt was gone. Now only remained a warm lovingness that she knew that she had never seen before-and she had looked into Kurt's eyes many, many times.

She kissed him then, because it seemed so right to do so. Her arms slid easily around him, her body molding to his, and she felt him pull her closer. Their kiss lasted a long time, but it didn't feel that way. When they pulled back, she sighed in happiness and leaned forward again, pressing the side of her face against his. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"It's okay," he said, stroking the back of her neck gently. "It's okay."

He continued to sway gently, and Penny felt herself calming down as they held each other close. "Are we okay?" she asked in a tiny voice.

"God, yes," he said.

_You fill up my senses  
like a night in the forest,  
like the mountains in springtime,  
like a walk in the rain,  
like a storm in the desert,  
like a sleepy blue ocean.  
You fill up my senses,  
come fill me again._


End file.
